We hear so much about the adversarial parents and what they do to their kids, as if parenting is a zero-sum game. But it is not.
Parents may take an adversarial approach to disciplining their children because they have different beliefs about how to raise their children. And children can respond to these beliefs.
Parenting styles are influenced by personal values and beliefs.
If you don’t believe that your parent’s disciplinary actions are fair to you or to your children, you will probably not apply those same rules when parenting other children.
In most cases, it doesn’t matter how well behaved your children are, as long as you believe in the parenting methods. This is where the “basics” come in and are important to parenting.
There are some very common parenting styles, especially when we start learning about ourselves as parents.
The authoritarian parenting style is when parents use punishments and rewards all the time – with little or no consideration to the child’s behavior.
The caring and compassionate style is usually described as the mother-child relationship where parents meet each other’s needs.
The permissive parenting style is when parents give in more to their children’s needs than to their own.
These are just a few of the many parenting styles that exist, and each one is applicable for certain children.
Some parents are compassionate and teachable and so teach their children right from wrong. However, authoritarian parents use punishments and rewards very rarely and only when necessary.
They are not interested in children’s good behaviors and will often tell parents to stop doing something if their children do it.
An authoritarian parent will most likely punish children for even the smallest infraction or bad behavior.
The caring and compassionate parent will apply rules equally, without favoritism or giving special treatment to any child.
This kind of parenting style makes children feel like they are equal in the eyes of the law. Children tend to respect this kind of parenting.
Children are also more likely to cooperate with their parents after they see that parents are taking an honest approach with discipline.
There is still much that researchers are learning about children and how they interact with their parents.
However, these early childhood principles help us to form a solid foundation for parenting and the early years.
It is important that we do not rely on guesswork or on information that may be outdated and do our children and ourselves more harm.
Discipline methods that work today may not always work tomorrow, but if you practice consistency, then you will be rewarded over time.
Disciplining your child in a consistent and effective manner will allow you to take control and gain your children’s respect for you and your authority.
You can still talk to your child. You can still guide them in the right direction without screaming, hitting, or intimidating them.
These actions only teach your child that they are weak for trying to get things done their way.
You may still want to teach them the traditional discipline methods, but only in a way that is consistent and that teaches them that their actions will be taken into serious consideration by their parents.
If you think that your child is acting appropriately, then you should tell them so.
But remember that it is your job as a parent to make sure that your child knows that their actions are being watched and that you will be held responsible if they are being inappropriate.
In parenting styles, there is still room for communication and open communication between parents. But it is not okay to rely on yelling, screaming, or physical punishment as a method of discipline.
When it comes to your child’s well-being and security, sticking to what you know and understand as being traditional family values is best.